Why no one should look to me for organization tips

People seem to think I'm a rather organized, put together person. I'm typically on time, and have things done pretty efficiently.

Uh, yeah.

Those people are WRONG.

Yet somehow, I still get people (mind you, these are people who don't know me well) ask me for organization ideas.

So, for amusement purposes, here's how I get organized:

step one. Buy colorful sticky notes (preferably 2+ colors)
Designate a purpose for each color.
Don't follow through with these purposes. Instead, write massive to do lists on the front. Put them in books, on notebooks or on your laptop keyboard. Smudge so you can't see. Write other lists on the back. Flip back and forth to find which list is on which note, then lose it again. Let lists tear and add stuff to expired lists. Repeat.

step two. Keep an iCalendar. Color code for class and e.c.'s. Add things with timers. Forget what those timers are for. Forget to add things and timers. Keep x-ing out when it gets in your way. Repeat.

step three. Keep a dry erase calendar. Color code. Lose the colors you used. Forget to add things. Accidentally erase things. Let things dry in too much. Get irritated and use it for doodles instead.

step four. Buy a planner. Write for classes. Highlight. Get irritate because planner is too small. Get further irritated because last planner was too big. Misplace between text books. Lose for a while and stop using. Find again and use. Spill on and get sticky. Give up and throw out.

step five. Note taking edition!
Buy notebooks for each day. Take notes. Type notes later. have designated folders (in life and on the computer). Highlight both with bright colors and a vague system. Mis-type notes. Give up on typing. Forget what your highlighting system was. Give up and just write.

*Moral of the story => Don't give me this bull-shit "you're so organized!" and don't do what I do.

Now I have to go do something I forgot (and I'm not joking. JOY!)